KV Shan: The Mind & Matter Space

You are not Shaped by Life — Life is Shaped Through You For most of human history, people have believed their lives were authored elsewhere—by fate, by family, by luck, by society, by gods, by karma, by circumstance. The idea that life happens to us is deeply ingrained, passed down quietly through culture, education, and even well- meaning advice. But modern psychology, neuroscience, and ancient wisdom are converging on a different truth: What you are living today did not appear suddenly. It was assembled—silently, patiently—by patterns of thinking you practiced yesterday. Your career trajectory. Your emotional baseline. Your confidence or self-doubt. Your relationships. Your resilience. They are not accidents. They are echoes. This is not about blame. It is about agency. When you truly understand this, victimhood dissolves—not because life is easy, but because power returns to where it belongs. The Present Moment is a Memory in Motion Neuroscience tells us something both unsettling a...

Shame: The Hidden Virus of the Human Soul How it infects us, controls us, and how we begin to heal “I’m not good enough.”   “If they really knew me, they’d leave.”   “I’m a failure — not just at something, but as someone.” These aren’t just passing thoughts. They are the voice of shame — ancient, invisible, and vicious. Unlike fear or sadness, shame doesn’t come and go. It lives inside us. It shapes how we see ourselves, how we relate to others, and how we interpret every  moment of rejection, silence, or failure. Shame is not a feeling. It is a system of self-attack . And yet, most people don't realize they are carrying it — or worse, that it’s slowly killing  their sense of self. What is Shame? Shame is the painful belief that you are fundamentally flawed , unworthy, or bad. Not that you made a mistake — but that you are the mistake . Where guilt says: “I did something wrong.”   Shame whispers:   “I am wrong.” It’s silent. It’s hidden. It...

This is the final part of the RESENTMENT trilogy. Here I provide two different guides  containing detox tips. The guides are formed in such a way considering the different  situations  of people ie working at home and working in office environment. The guides are  respectively named as Guide A and Guide B. Resentment Detox Guides for both People Staying at Home and People Working at Office   Part 3 of 3 GUIDE A Resentment Detox for People Staying at Home (Homemakers, caregivers, remote workers, unemployed, career-break individuals) Why resentment builds at home Resentment at home is rarely loud. It forms quietly through: Invisible labor Emotional availability without reciprocation Loss of personal identity Taken-for-granted sacrifices Routine without recognition At home, resentment sounds like: “No one sees how much I do.” “If I stop, everything will collapse.” “My needs always come last.” Core Resentment Triggers  1. Unacknowledged effort 2. Role engu...

Though the trilogy on Resentment is designed as three stand alone blogs, I would suggest that serial  reading well serve better. This blog is going to be a little longer. Let's dive. Resentment Detox – Case Studies and  A 7 Day Detox Plan Resentment Part 2 of 3 This second blog is meant to ground the detox in real life. Not theory. Not ideal outcomes. But how resentment actually forms, lives, and dissolves in ordinary people. The names are changed, but the patterns are real across the globe—commonly seen in therapy rooms,  workplaces, homes, and inner lives. Case Study 1: The Dutiful Daughter Resentment born from silent responsibility Background Anita, 34, unmarried, working professional, eldest child. From her teenage years, she became the emotional anchor of the family—mediating conflicts, supporting siblings, absorbing parental stress. She was praised as: “Strong” “Mature” “The one who understands” The resentment By her early 30s, Anita felt: Irritated by small family ...