Chase What You Want or Take What You Get? Balancing Desire and Acceptance in Life

Chase What You Want or Take What You Get: The Fine Line Between Ambition and Acceptance

Life constantly nudges us with a seemingly simple question: Should we chase what we want, or take what we get? It’s a question that sits at the intersection of ambition, contentment, and the very essence of human decision-making. On the surface, it may appear trivial—after all, don’t we all want happiness and fulfillment? Yet, the implications are deeper than they seem, touching on psychology, philosophy, relationships, career, and personal growth.

In this blog, we explore why this dilemma matters, how it shapes our lives, and practical ways to navigate it without regret.

The Nature of Desire and Contentment

At the core of this question is desire—the human drive to pursue something beyond what is immediately available. Desire is neither good nor bad; it is neutral, yet it can determine the trajectory of our lives. Philosophers and psychologists alike have debated its value:

Buddhism and Eastern Philosophy: Desire, or tanha (in Pali is Thirst), is often viewed as the root of suffering. The idea is simple: chasing what you want creates constant craving, and craving inevitably leads to disappointment. Taking what comes naturally, or practicing contentment, is seen as a path to peace.

Western Philosophy and Existentialism: Desire is tied to freedom, choice, and authenticity. Existentialists like Jean-Paul Sartre emphasize the importance of actively creating one’s life. To chase what you truly want is to live authentically, even if it entails risk or discomfort.

Thus, the question isn’t just about ambition—it is about values, priorities, and our relationship with life itself.

The Psychology of “Chasing” vs “Accepting”

Psychologically, humans tend to oscillate between two modes:

1. Chasing Mode: Driven by goals, vision, and ambition. This mode taps into our intrinsic motivation but comes with risk, anxiety, and the potential for failure. Psychologists call this the “approach motivation,” where focus is on gaining positive outcomes.

2. Accepting Mode: Characterized by adaptability, gratitude, and patience. This mode focuses on minimizing loss and finding satisfaction in current circumstances. Psychologists refer to this as “avoidance motivation,” aiming to reduce pain rather than maximize pleasure.

Both modes have their merits. Chasing without wisdom can lead to frustration and burnout; accepting without effort can result in stagnation or unfulfilled potential.

The Cost of Chasing Without Strategy

Ambition, when untethered from strategy, can become destructive. Consider the common scenario:

Career Chasers: Many chase higher positions, promotions, or prestigious companies without a clear plan. They may achieve temporary success but sacrifice mental health, relationships, and personal growth.

Relationship Chasers: Individuals relentlessly pursue a partner who is incompatible or unavailable, ignoring red flags. The chase often leads to heartbreak and disillusionment.

Financial Chasers: The endless pursuit of money and status can create a hollow sense of accomplishment, leaving emotional needs unfulfilled.

The lesson is clear: chasing blindly can be worse than accepting what life offers, especially if it leads to a mismatch between desire and reality.

The Risk of Taking What You Get

Conversely, taking what comes to you without effort also has consequences:

Missed Opportunities: Life rarely rewards passivity. Opportunities for growth, career advancement, or deep relationships may pass unnoticed.

Regret: One of the greatest sources of regret is not pursuing dreams. Studies consistently show that people regret inaction more than wrong action when looking back on their lives.

All the shots you didn't try were actually bulls eyes!

Loss of Agency: Accepting everything as it comes can reduce your sense of control, leaving life feeling dictated by chance rather than intention.

Thus, accepting too much can lead to complacency, a quiet but significant thief of potential.

The Balance: Chasing Strategically

The ideal approach lies in strategic pursuit. Chasing what you want does not mean reckless ambition. It requires awareness, planning, and reflection:

1. Clarify Your True Desire: Not every desire is worth pursuing. Ask yourself: Is this goal truly mine, or is it imposed by society, family, or peer pressure? Your dreams must resonate with your values.

2. Assess Your Resources and Risks: Evaluate the effort, time, and emotional cost required. Ambition without resource planning is like sailing without a map.

3. Maintain Flexibility: Life is unpredictable. Being able to adjust or pivot is crucial. Sometimes, taking what comes is necessary before you can chase effectively.

4. Avoid Comparison Traps: Chasing often triggers social comparison. Remember, your journey is unique, and measuring your progress against others can be a recipe for dissatisfaction.

When Acceptance Becomes Empowering

Acceptance is not surrender. It is a powerful, conscious choice when applied strategically:

Gratitude and Perspective: Appreciating what you already have enhances mental well-being. Often, we overlook the abundance already present in our lives.

Incremental Progress: Sometimes, accepting current circumstances allows you to build foundations for future pursuits. A temporary “take what comes” approach can be a strategic resting phase.

Emotional Resilience: Acceptance fosters patience and reduces the stress of constant striving. It teaches that life is not always linear, and detours are part of growth.

The key is not passive resignation but mindful acceptance, paired with self-awareness.

Real-Life Illustrations

1. Career: Consider someone stuck in a monotonous job. Chasing a dream role without skill preparation may fail. Yet, taking the current role and learning transferable skills gradually increases the likelihood of achieving their ultimate goal. Here, acceptance and chasing coexist.

2. Relationships: A friend might accept that a romantic partner isn’t ready for commitment. Instead of forcing the relationship, they focus on self-growth. Eventually, they may either attract the right partner or be prepared to pursue a meaningful relationship.

3. Creativity: Writers, artists, and innovators often oscillate between taking commissions or steady work and chasing their passion projects. Strategic chasing, balanced with accepting certain realities, allows financial stability without sacrificing artistic ambition.

Philosophical Perspectives

Stoicism: The Stoics advocate accepting what is beyond your control while exerting maximum effort in what you can influence. It is a philosophical harmony of chasing and acceptance.

Hedonic Adaptation: This is one of my most liked words as it sounds out of the world. Psychologists note that humans quickly adapt to both gains and losses. This is why the novelty and excitement of purchasing a new car dies down soon without a trace. Not only purchasing a car but the possession of anything or any feeling which gave you momentary happiness or sadness  fades. Sometimes its a blessing such as in case of the sadness acquired after the loss of a dear one. Chasing endlessly for new experiences often fails to deliver long-term happiness. Accepting life’s blessings, even small ones, sustains lasting contentment. 

Minimalism and Intentional Living: Modern minimalists emphasize clarity of desire. By consciously deciding what matters, we chase less but chase more meaningfully. Simultaneously, we learn to accept what is sufficient.

Practical Steps to Navigate the Dilemma

1. Write Your Life Inventory: List what you want versus what you already have. Evaluate gaps, overlaps, and redundancies.

2. Set Micro Goals: Instead of a grand chase, break down goals into achievable steps. Celebrate small wins while maintaining vision.

3. Practice Mindfulness: Regular reflection helps distinguish between fleeting cravings and authentic desires.

4. Seek Mentorship and Counsel: Others’ experiences can illuminate paths you hadn’t considered, reducing the risk of chasing blindly.

5. Periodically Reassess: Life circumstances change. Goals should be revisited regularly, ensuring alignment with evolving values.

The Danger of “Society’s Chase”

A crucial aspect often ignored is social influence. Society constantly tells us what to chase: higher salary, status symbols, certain relationships, or specific life milestones. This chase is not inherently wrong but can misalign with your authentic self.

Example: College graduates may feel pressured to pursue high-paying corporate jobs. Some thrive, but others experience stress and disillusionment. Choosing a different path—freelancing, entrepreneurship, or creative work—might involve acceptance of certain trade-offs but ultimately aligns with personal fulfillment.

What you can take from this:  Chase what resonates, not what society dictates.

The Intersection: Chasing Within Acceptance

The most empowering approach integrates both philosophies:

Chase What You Truly Want: Take intentional action toward goals aligned with your authentic desires.

Accept What Comes Naturally: Acknowledge limitations, external constraints, and the present moment. Find gratitude and meaning in what life provides.

This dual approach balances ambition with contentment, effort with patience, and desire with gratitude. It allows humans to pursue growth without becoming trapped in dissatisfaction.

Case Study: The Entrepreneurial Journey

Take the story of Nicole, a young entrepreneur. She dreamed of launching a tech startup but faced financial constraints. Initially, she took a stable corporate job (accepting what she got), learning skills, networking, and saving capital. After three years, she launched her venture (chasing her dream) with better preparedness and resilience. Today, she acknowledges that neither blind chasing nor passive acceptance alone would have worked; her success required a strategic blend of both.

Choosing Your Path Consciously

The question is not “chase or accept?” but “how to chase intelligently and accept mindfully?” Life rarely offers a clear-cut path. Each approach carries risks and rewards, and the key lies in self-awareness, intention, and adaptability.

Blind Chasing: May lead to frustration, stress, or failure.

Passive Acceptance: May bring comfort but risks regret and stagnation.

Conscious Integration: Chasing with strategy and accepting with mindfulness creates a life of purposeful growth, resilience, and fulfillment.

In the end, life is a delicate dance between ambition and contentment. The rhythm lies not in extremes but in balance—the art of chasing what aligns with your soul while appreciating what life graciously offers.

Takeaway Table

Approach	Pros	Cons	When to Use
Chase What You Want	Growth, achievement, fulfillment	Risk, stress, possibility of failure	When aligned with your values and resources
Take What You Get	Peace, contentment, adaptability	Missed opportunities, stagnation	When building foundations or facing constraints
Integrative Approach	Balanced growth and contentment	Requires mindfulness and reflection	Always; adjust according to life circumstances

 

FAQs

1. Is chasing dreams selfish?

Not if it aligns with authentic values. Healthy ambition can inspire others and create positive change.

2. Can accepting life make me lazy?

No. Acceptance is active, not passive. It involves mindfulness and strategic patience.

3. How do I know what I truly want?

Self-reflection, journaling, and exploring passions help distinguish authentic desires from external pressures.

4. What if chasing fails?

Failure is part of the learning process. Acceptance of setbacks allows growth without despair.

5. Can I do both simultaneously?

Yes. Strategic chasing coupled with mindful acceptance is the most sustainable approach.

This blog offers a holistic perspective on a question every human faces. By understanding the dynamics of chasing and accepting, we can live intentionally, grow purposefully, and find peace amid life’s uncertainty.

NB:

The energetic youth who really are ambitious, who have full faith in themselves and  are ready  to take any risks should go for  the Chase What You Want approach by not being complacent. The youth should be encouraged to possess the Go Getter attitude.

For today's go getter youth

https://www.kvshan.com/2025/08/www.kvshan.comchase-what-you-want-youth-success.html

Thank you for reading.

– KV Shan